- Two days
wrong! - sighed the Hatter. - I told you butter wouldn't suit the works! -
he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
- It was the BEST butter, - the March Hare meekly replied.
- Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well, - the Hatter
grumbled: - you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he
dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think
of nothing better to say than his first remark, - It was the BEST butter,
you know.
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. - What
a funny watch! - she remarked. - It tells the day of the month, and
doesn't tell what o'clock it is!
- Why should it? - muttered the Hatter. - Does YOUR watch tell you
what year it is?
- Of course not, - Alice replied very readily: - but that's because
it stays the same year for such a long time together.
- Which is just the case with MINE, - said the Hatter. Alice felt
dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning
in it, and yet it was certainly English. - I don't quite understand you, -
she said, as politely as she could.
- The Dormouse is asleep again, - said the Hatter, and he poured a
little hot tea upon its nose.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening
its eyes, - Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.
- Have you guessed the riddle yet? - the Hatter said, turning to
Alice again.
- No, I give it up, - Alice replied: - that's the answer?
- I haven't the slightest idea, - said the Hatter.
- Nor I, - said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily. - I think you
might do something better with the time, - she said, - than waste it in
asking riddles that have no answers.
- If you knew Time as well as I do, - said the Hatter, - you wouldn't
talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.
- I don't know what you mean, - said Alice.
- Of course you don't! - the Hatter said, tossing his head
contemptuously. - I dare say you never even spoke to Time!
- Perhaps not, - Alice cautiously replied: - but I know I have to
beat time when I learn music.
- Ah! that accounts for it, - said the Hatter. - He won't stand
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost
anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine
o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to
whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past
one, time for dinner!
( - I only wish it was, - the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.
) - That would be grand, certainly, - said Alice thoughtfully: - but then
- I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.
- Not at first, perhaps, - said the Hatter: - but you could keep it
to half-past one as long as you liked.
- Is that the way YOU manage? - Alice asked. The Hatter shook his
head mournfully. - Not I! - he replied. - We quarrelled last March - just
before HE went mad, you know - (pointing with his tea spoon at the March
Hare,) - it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I
had to sing
- Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
You know the song, perhaps?
- I've heard something like it, - said Alice.
- It goes on, you know, - the Hatter continued, - in this way:
- Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle -
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
- Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle - and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop.
- Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse, - said the Hatter, -
when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, - He's murdering the time! Off
with his head!
- How dreadfully savage! - exclaimed Alice.
- And ever since that, - the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, - he
won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.
A bright idea came into Alice's head. - Is that the reason so many
tea-things are put out here? - she asked.
- Yes, that's it, - said the Hatter with a sigh: - it's always
tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.
- Then you keep moving round, I suppose? - said Alice.
- Exactly so, - said the Hatter: - as the things get used up.
- But what happens when you come to the beginning again? - Alice
ventured to ask.
- Suppose we change the subject, - the March Hare interrupted,
yawning. - I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a
story.
- I'm afraid I don't know one, - said Alice, rather alarmed at the
proposal.
- Then the Dormouse shall! - they both cried. - Wake up, Dormouse!
And they pinched it on both sides at once.
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. - I wasn't asleep, - he said in
a hoarse, feeble voice: - I heard every word you fellows were saying.
- Tell us a story! - said the March Hare.
- Yes, please do! - pleaded Alice.
- And be quick about it, - added the Hatter, - or you'll be asleep
again before it's done.
- Once upon a time there were three little sisters, - the Dormouse
began in a great hurry; - and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie;
and they lived at the bottom of a well
- What did they live on? - said Alice, who always took a great
interest in questions of eating and drinking.
- They lived on treacle, - said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute
or two.
- They couldn't have done that, you know, - Alice gently remarked; -
they'd have been ill. - So they were, - said the Dormouse; - VERY ill.
Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of
living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on:
- But why did they live at the bottom of a well? - Take some more
tea, - the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. - I've had nothing
yet, - Alice replied in an offended tone, - so I can't take more.
- You mean you can't take LESS, - said the Hatter: - it's very easy
to take MORE than nothing.
- Nobody asked YOUR opinion, - said Alice.
- Who's making personal remarks now? - the Hatter asked triumphantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to
some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and
repeated her question. - Why did they live at the bottom of a well?
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then
said, - It was a treacle-well.
- There's no such thing! - Alice was beginning very angrily, but the
Hatter and the March Hare went - Sh! sh! - and the Dormouse sulkily
remarked, - If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for
yourself.
- No, please go on! - Alice said very humbly; - I won't interrupt
again. I dare say there may be ONE.
- One, indeed! - said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented
to go on. - And so these three little sisters - they were learning to
draw, you know
- What did they draw? - said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
- Treacle, - said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
- I want a clean cup, - interrupted the Hatter: - let's all move one
place on.
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March
Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took
the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any
advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than
before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very
cautiously: - But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle
from?
- You can draw water out of a water-well, - said the Hatter; - so I
should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well - eh, stupid?
- But they were IN the well, - Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.
- Of course they were', said the Dormouse; - well in. This answer so
confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without
interrupting it.
- They were learning to draw, - the Dormouse went on, yawning and
rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; - and they drew all
manner of things - everything that begins with an M
- Why with an M? - said Alice.
- Why not? - said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The Dormouse had
closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being
pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on:
- that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory,
and muchness-you know you say things are - much of a muchness - did you
ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
- Really, now you ask me, - said Alice, very much confused, - I don't
think
- Then you shouldn't talk, - said the Hatter. This piece of rudeness
was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked
off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half
hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they
were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
- At any rate I'll never go THERE again! - said Alice as she picked
her way through the wood. - It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in
all my life!
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it. - That's very curious! - she thought. - But
everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. - And in
she went.
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little
glass table. - Now, I'll manage better this time, - she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led
into the garden. Then she wet to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had
kept a piece of it in her pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she
walked down the little passage: and THEN - she found herself at last in
the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
CHAPTER VIII
The Queen's Croquet-Ground
A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses
growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went
nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of
them say, - Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like
that!
- I couldn't help it, - said Five, in a sulky tone; - Seven jogged my
elbow.
On which Seven looked up and said, - That's right, Five! Always lay
the blame on others!
- YOU'D better not talk!'said Five. - I heard the Queen say only
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!
- What for?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
wrong! - sighed the Hatter. - I told you butter wouldn't suit the works! -
he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
- It was the BEST butter, - the March Hare meekly replied.
- Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well, - the Hatter
grumbled: - you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he
dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think
of nothing better to say than his first remark, - It was the BEST butter,
you know.
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. - What
a funny watch! - she remarked. - It tells the day of the month, and
doesn't tell what o'clock it is!
- Why should it? - muttered the Hatter. - Does YOUR watch tell you
what year it is?
- Of course not, - Alice replied very readily: - but that's because
it stays the same year for such a long time together.
- Which is just the case with MINE, - said the Hatter. Alice felt
dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning
in it, and yet it was certainly English. - I don't quite understand you, -
she said, as politely as she could.
- The Dormouse is asleep again, - said the Hatter, and he poured a
little hot tea upon its nose.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening
its eyes, - Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.
- Have you guessed the riddle yet? - the Hatter said, turning to
Alice again.
- No, I give it up, - Alice replied: - that's the answer?
- I haven't the slightest idea, - said the Hatter.
- Nor I, - said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily. - I think you
might do something better with the time, - she said, - than waste it in
asking riddles that have no answers.
- If you knew Time as well as I do, - said the Hatter, - you wouldn't
talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.
- I don't know what you mean, - said Alice.
- Of course you don't! - the Hatter said, tossing his head
contemptuously. - I dare say you never even spoke to Time!
- Perhaps not, - Alice cautiously replied: - but I know I have to
beat time when I learn music.
- Ah! that accounts for it, - said the Hatter. - He won't stand
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost
anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine
o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to
whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past
one, time for dinner!
( - I only wish it was, - the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.
) - That would be grand, certainly, - said Alice thoughtfully: - but then
- I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.
- Not at first, perhaps, - said the Hatter: - but you could keep it
to half-past one as long as you liked.
- Is that the way YOU manage? - Alice asked. The Hatter shook his
head mournfully. - Not I! - he replied. - We quarrelled last March - just
before HE went mad, you know - (pointing with his tea spoon at the March
Hare,) - it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I
had to sing
- Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
You know the song, perhaps?
- I've heard something like it, - said Alice.
- It goes on, you know, - the Hatter continued, - in this way:
- Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle -
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
- Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle - and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop.
- Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse, - said the Hatter, -
when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, - He's murdering the time! Off
with his head!
- How dreadfully savage! - exclaimed Alice.
- And ever since that, - the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, - he
won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.
A bright idea came into Alice's head. - Is that the reason so many
tea-things are put out here? - she asked.
- Yes, that's it, - said the Hatter with a sigh: - it's always
tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.
- Then you keep moving round, I suppose? - said Alice.
- Exactly so, - said the Hatter: - as the things get used up.
- But what happens when you come to the beginning again? - Alice
ventured to ask.
- Suppose we change the subject, - the March Hare interrupted,
yawning. - I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a
story.
- I'm afraid I don't know one, - said Alice, rather alarmed at the
proposal.
- Then the Dormouse shall! - they both cried. - Wake up, Dormouse!
And they pinched it on both sides at once.
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. - I wasn't asleep, - he said in
a hoarse, feeble voice: - I heard every word you fellows were saying.
- Tell us a story! - said the March Hare.
- Yes, please do! - pleaded Alice.
- And be quick about it, - added the Hatter, - or you'll be asleep
again before it's done.
- Once upon a time there were three little sisters, - the Dormouse
began in a great hurry; - and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie;
and they lived at the bottom of a well
- What did they live on? - said Alice, who always took a great
interest in questions of eating and drinking.
- They lived on treacle, - said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute
or two.
- They couldn't have done that, you know, - Alice gently remarked; -
they'd have been ill. - So they were, - said the Dormouse; - VERY ill.
Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of
living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on:
- But why did they live at the bottom of a well? - Take some more
tea, - the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. - I've had nothing
yet, - Alice replied in an offended tone, - so I can't take more.
- You mean you can't take LESS, - said the Hatter: - it's very easy
to take MORE than nothing.
- Nobody asked YOUR opinion, - said Alice.
- Who's making personal remarks now? - the Hatter asked triumphantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to
some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and
repeated her question. - Why did they live at the bottom of a well?
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then
said, - It was a treacle-well.
- There's no such thing! - Alice was beginning very angrily, but the
Hatter and the March Hare went - Sh! sh! - and the Dormouse sulkily
remarked, - If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for
yourself.
- No, please go on! - Alice said very humbly; - I won't interrupt
again. I dare say there may be ONE.
- One, indeed! - said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented
to go on. - And so these three little sisters - they were learning to
draw, you know
- What did they draw? - said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
- Treacle, - said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
- I want a clean cup, - interrupted the Hatter: - let's all move one
place on.
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March
Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took
the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any
advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than
before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very
cautiously: - But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle
from?
- You can draw water out of a water-well, - said the Hatter; - so I
should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well - eh, stupid?
- But they were IN the well, - Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.
- Of course they were', said the Dormouse; - well in. This answer so
confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without
interrupting it.
- They were learning to draw, - the Dormouse went on, yawning and
rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; - and they drew all
manner of things - everything that begins with an M
- Why with an M? - said Alice.
- Why not? - said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The Dormouse had
closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being
pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on:
- that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory,
and muchness-you know you say things are - much of a muchness - did you
ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
- Really, now you ask me, - said Alice, very much confused, - I don't
think
- Then you shouldn't talk, - said the Hatter. This piece of rudeness
was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked
off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half
hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they
were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
- At any rate I'll never go THERE again! - said Alice as she picked
her way through the wood. - It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in
all my life!
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it. - That's very curious! - she thought. - But
everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. - And in
she went.
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little
glass table. - Now, I'll manage better this time, - she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led
into the garden. Then she wet to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had
kept a piece of it in her pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she
walked down the little passage: and THEN - she found herself at last in
the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
CHAPTER VIII
The Queen's Croquet-Ground
A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses
growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went
nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of
them say, - Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like
that!
- I couldn't help it, - said Five, in a sulky tone; - Seven jogged my
elbow.
On which Seven looked up and said, - That's right, Five! Always lay
the blame on others!
- YOU'D better not talk!'said Five. - I heard the Queen say only
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!
- What for?
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