Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her
repeating - YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM, - to the Caterpillar, and the
words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
and said - That's very curious.
- It's all about as curious as it can be, - said the Gryphon.
- It all came different! - the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. - I
should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin. -
He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority
over Alice.
- Stand up and repeat - 'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD, - said the
Gryphon.
- How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!
thought Alice; - I might as well be at school at once. - However, she got
up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster
Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came
very queer indeed:
- 'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
- You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair. As a duck with
its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns
out his toes.
[later editions continued as follows
When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
- That's different from what I used to say when I was a child, - said
the Gryphon.
- Well, I never heard it before, - said the Mock Turtle; - but it
sounds uncommon nonsense.
Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands,
wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.
- I should like to have it explained, - said the Mock Turtle.
- She can't explain it, - said the Gryphon hastily. - Go on with the
next verse.
- But about his toes? - the Mock Turtle persisted. - How COULD he
turn them out with his nose, you know?
- It's the first position in dancing. - Alice said; but was
dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
- Go on with the next verse, - the Gryphon repeated impatiently: - it
begins - I passed by his garden.
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come
wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:
- I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the Owl and
the Panther were sharing a pie
[later editions continued as follows
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
And concluded the banquet - ]
- What IS the use of repeating all that stuff, - the Mock Turtle
interrupted, - if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most
confusing thing I ever heard!
- Yes, I think you'd better leave off, - said the Gryphon: and Alice
was only too glad to do so.
- Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille? - the Gryphon
went on. - Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?
- Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind, - Alice
replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended toe,
- Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her - Turtle Soup, - will you,
old fellow?
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked
with sobs, to sing this:
- Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for
such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Soup
of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Soo - oop of the e - e - evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
- Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other dish? Who
would not give all else for two p ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Soo - oop of the e - e - evening,
Beautiful, beauti - FUL SOUP!
- Chorus again! - cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry of - The trial's beginning! - was heard in
the distance.
- Come on! - cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it
hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
- What trial is it? - Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only
answered - Come on! - and ran the faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:
- Soo - oop of the e - e - evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
CHAPTER XI
Who Stole the Tarts?
The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they
arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them - all sorts of little
birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was
standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him;
and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a
scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a
table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it
made Alice quite hungry to look at them - I wish they'd get the trial
done, - she thought, - and hand round the refreshments! - But there seemed
to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about her, to
pass away the time.
Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the
name of nearly everything there. - That's the judge, - she said to
herself, - because of his great wig.
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over
the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he
did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
- And that's the jury-box, - thought Alice, - and those twelve
creatures, - (she was obliged to say - creatures, - you see, because some
of them were animals, and some were birds,) - I suppose they are the
jurors. - She said this last word two or three times over to herself,
being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few
little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, - jury-men
- would have done just as well.
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. - What are
they doing? - Alice whispered to the Gryphon. - They can't have anything
to put down yet, before the trial's begun.
- They're putting down their names, - the Gryphon whispered in reply,
- for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial. - Stupid
things! - Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily,
for the White Rabbit cried out, - Silence in the court! - and the King put
on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down - stupid things! - on their slates,
and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell -
stupid, - and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. - A nice
muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over! - thought Alice.
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice
could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very
soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that
the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all
what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged
to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
little use, as it left no mark on the slate.
- Herald, read the accusation! - said the King. On this the White
Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment
scroll, and read as follows:
- The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!
- Consider your verdict, - the King said to the jury.
- Not yet, not yet! - the Rabbit hastily interrupted. - There's a
great deal to come before that!
- Call the first witness, - said the King; and the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, - First witness!
The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. - I beg pardon, your
Majesty, - he began, - for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished
my tea when I was sent for.
- You ought to have finished, - said the King. - When did you begin?
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court,
arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. - Fourteenth of March, I think it was, - he
said.
- Fifteenth, - said the March Hare.
- Sixteenth, - added the Dormouse.
- Write that down, - the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and
reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
- Take off your hat, - the King said to the Hatter.
- It isn't mine, - said the Hatter.
- Stolen! - the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly
made a memorandum of the fact.
- I keep them to sell, - the Hatter added as an explanation; - I've
none of my own. I'm a hatter.
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
- Give your evidence, - said the King; - and don't be nervous, or
I'll have you executed on the spot.
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting
form one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his
confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread-and-butter.
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning
to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave
the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as
long as there was room for her.
- I wish you wouldn't squeeze so. - said the Dormouse, who was
sitting next to her. - I can hardly breathe.
- I can't help it, - said Alice very meekly: - I'm growing.
- You've no right to grow here, - said the Dormouse.
- Don't talk nonsense, - said Alice more boldly: - you know you're
growing too.
- Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace, - said the Dormouse: - not in
that ridiculous fashion. - And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to
the other side of the court.
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter,
and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the
officers of the court, - Bring me the list of the singers in the last
concert!
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