- Where's the
servant whose business it is to answer the door? - she began angrily.
- Which door? - said the Frog. Alice almost stamped with irritation
at the slow drawl in which he
spoke. - THIS door, of course!
The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute:
then he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were trying
whether the paint would come off; then he looked at Alice.
- To answer the door? - he said. - What's it been asking of? - He was
so hoarse that Alice could scarcely hear him.
- I don't know what you mean, - she said.
- I talks English, doesn't I? - the Frog went on. - Or are you deaf?
What did it ask you?
- Nothing! - Alice said impatiently. - I've been knocking at it!
- Shouldn't do that - shouldn't do that - the Frog muttered. - Wexes
it, you know. - Then he went up and gave the door a kick with one of his
great feet. - You let IT alone, - he panted out, as he hobbled back to his
tree, - and it'll let YOU alone, you know.
At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill voice was heard
singing:
- To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said,
"I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head;
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be,
Come and dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me."
And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus:
- Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran:
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!
Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and Alice thought to
herself, - Thirty times three makes ninety. I wonder if any one's
counting? - In a minute there was silence again, and the same shrill voice
sang another verse;
- "O Looking-Glass creatures," quothe Alice, "draw near!
'Tis and honour to see me, a favour to hear:
'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me!"
Then came the chorus again:
- Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink:
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine!
- Ninety times nine! - Alice repeated in despair, - Oh, that'll never
be done! I'd better go in at once - and there was a dead silence the
moment she appeared.
Alice glanced nervously along the table, as she walked up the large
hall, and noticed that there were about fifty quests, of all kinds: some
were animals, some birds, and there were even a few flowers among them. -
I'm glad they've come without waiting to be asked, - she thought: - I
should never have known who were the right people to invite!
There were three chairs at the head of the table; the Red and White
Queens had already taken two of them, but the middle one was empty. Alice
sat down in it, rather uncomfortable in the silence, and longing for some
one to speak.
At last the Red Queen began. - You've missed the soup and fish, - she
said. - Put on the joint! - And the waiters set a leg of mutton before
Alice, who looked at it rather anxiously, as she had never had to carve a
joint before.
- You look a little shy; let me introduce you to that leg of mutton,
- said the Red Queen. - Alice - Mutton; Mutton - Alice. - The leg of
mutton got up in the dish and made a little bow to Alice; and Alice
returned the bow, not knowing whether to be frightened or amused.
- May I give you a slice? - she said, taking up the knife and fork,
and looking from one Queen to the other.
- Certainly not, - the Red Queen, very decidedly: - it isn't
etiquette to cut any one you've been introduced to. Remove the joint! -
And the waiters carried it off, and brought a large plum-pudding in its
place.
- I won't be introduced to the pudding, please, - Alice said rather
hastily, - or shall we get no dinner at all. May I give you some?
But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled - Pudding - Alice; Alice
- Pudding. Remove the pudding! - and the waiters took it always so quickly
that Alice couldn't return its bow.
However, she didn't see why the Red Queen should be the only one to
give orders, so, as an experiment, she called out - Waiter! Bring back the
pudding! - and there it was again in a moment like a conjuring-trick. It
was so large that she couldn't help feeling a LITTLE shy with it, as she
had been with the mutton; however, she conquered her shyness by a great
effort and cut a slice and handed it to the Red Queen.
- What impertinence! - said the Pudding. - I wonder how you'd like
it, if I were to cut a slice out of YOU, you creature!
- It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice hadn't a word
to say in reply: she could only sit and look at it and gasp.
- Make a remark, - said the Red Queen: - it's ridiculous to leave all
the conversation to the pudding!
- Do you know, I've had such a quantity of poetry repeated to me
to-day, - Alice began, a little frightened at finding that, the moment she
opened her lips, there was dead silence, and all eyes were fixed upon her;
- and it's a very curious thing, I think -every poem was about fishes in
some way. Do you know why they're so fond of fishes, all about here?
She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a little wide of the
mark. - As to fishes, - she said, very slowly and solemnly, putting her
mouth close to Alice's ear, - her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle -
all in poetry - all about fishes. Shall she repeat it?
- Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention it, - the White Queen
murmured into Alice's other ear, in a voice like the cooing of a pigeon. -
It would be SUCH a treat! May I?
- Please do, - Alice said very politely. The White Queen laughed with
delight, and stroked Alice's cheek. Then
she began:
- "First, the fish must be caught.
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught it.
"Next, the fish must be bought.
That is easy: a penny, I think, would have bought it.
"Now cook me the fish!
That is easy, and will not take more than a minute.
Let it lie in a dish!"
That is easy, because it already is in it.
"Bring it here! Let me sup!"
It is easy to set such a dish on the table.
"Take the dish-cover up!
Ah, THAT is so hard that I fear I'm unable!
For it holds it like glue
Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle:
Which is easiest to do,
Un-dish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle?
- Take a minute to think about it, and then guess, - said the Red
Queen. - Meanwhile, we'll drink your health - Queen Alice's health! she
screamed at the top of her voice, and all the guests began drinking it
directly, and very queerly they managed it: some of them put their glasses
upon their heads like extinguishers, and drank all that trickled down
their faces -others upset the decanters, and drank the wine as it ran off
the edges of the table - and three of them (who looked like kangaroos)
scrambled into the dish of roast mutton, and began eagerly lapping up the
gravy, - just like pigs in a trough! thought Alice.
- You ought to return thanks in a neat speech, - the Red Queen said,
frowning at Alice as she spoke.
- We must support you, you know, - the White Queen whispered, as
Alice got up to do it, very obediently, but a little frightened.
- Thank you very much, - she whispered in reply, - but I can do quite
well without.
- That wouldn't be at all the thing, - the Red Queen said very
decidedly: so Alice tried to submit to it with a good grace.
(And they DID push so! - she said afterwards, when she was telling
her sister the history of the feast. - You would have thought they wanted
to squeeze me flat!')
In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her place while
she made her speech: the two Queens pushed her so, one on each side, that
they nearly lifted her up into the air: - I rise to return thanks - Alice
began: and she really DID rise as she spoke, several inches; but she got
hold of the edge of the table, and managed to pull herself down again.
- Take care of yourself! - screamed the White Queen, seizing Alice's
hair with both her hands. - Something's going to happen!
And then (as Alice afterwards described it) all sorts of thing
happened in a moment. The candles all grew up to the ceiling, looking
something like a bed of rushes with fireworks at the top. As to the
bottles, they each took a pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on as
wings, and so, with forks for legs, went fluttering about in all
directions: - and very like birds they look, - Alice thought to herself,
as well as she could in the dreadful confusion that was beginning.
At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her side, and turn to see
what was the matter with the White Queen; but, instead of the Queen, there
was the leg of mutton sitting in the chair. - Here I am! cried a voice
from the soup tureen, and Alice turned again, just in time to see the
Queen's broad good-natured face grinning at the for a moment over the edge
of the tureen, before she disappeared into the soup.
There was not a moment to be lost. Already several of the guests were
lying down in the dishes, and the soup ladle was walking up the table
towards Alice's chair, and beckoning to her impatiently to get out of its
way.
- I can't stand this any longer! - she cried as she jumped up and
seized the table-cloth with both hands: one good pull, and plates, dishes,
guests, and candles came crashing down together in a heap on the floor.
- And as for YOU, - she went on, turning fiercly upon the Red Queen,
who she considered as the cause of all the mischief - but the Queen was no
longer at her side - she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a
little doll, and was now on the table, merrily running round and round
after her own shawl, which was trailing behind her.
At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised at this, but she
was far too much excited to be surprised at anything NOW. - As for YOU, -
she repeated, catching hold of the little creature in the very act of
jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon the table, - I'll shake
you into a kitten, that I will!
CHAPTER X
Shaking
She took her off the table as she spoke, and shook her backwards and
forwards with all her might.
The Red Queen made no resistance whatever; only her face grew very
small, and her eyes got large and green: and still, as Alice went on
shaking her, she kept on growing shorter - and fatter - and softer - and
rounder - and
CHAPTER XI
Waking
- and it really WAS a kitten, after all.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
servant whose business it is to answer the door? - she began angrily.
- Which door? - said the Frog. Alice almost stamped with irritation
at the slow drawl in which he
spoke. - THIS door, of course!
The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute:
then he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were trying
whether the paint would come off; then he looked at Alice.
- To answer the door? - he said. - What's it been asking of? - He was
so hoarse that Alice could scarcely hear him.
- I don't know what you mean, - she said.
- I talks English, doesn't I? - the Frog went on. - Or are you deaf?
What did it ask you?
- Nothing! - Alice said impatiently. - I've been knocking at it!
- Shouldn't do that - shouldn't do that - the Frog muttered. - Wexes
it, you know. - Then he went up and gave the door a kick with one of his
great feet. - You let IT alone, - he panted out, as he hobbled back to his
tree, - and it'll let YOU alone, you know.
At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill voice was heard
singing:
- To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said,
"I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head;
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be,
Come and dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me."
And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus:
- Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran:
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!
Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and Alice thought to
herself, - Thirty times three makes ninety. I wonder if any one's
counting? - In a minute there was silence again, and the same shrill voice
sang another verse;
- "O Looking-Glass creatures," quothe Alice, "draw near!
'Tis and honour to see me, a favour to hear:
'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me!"
Then came the chorus again:
- Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink:
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine!
- Ninety times nine! - Alice repeated in despair, - Oh, that'll never
be done! I'd better go in at once - and there was a dead silence the
moment she appeared.
Alice glanced nervously along the table, as she walked up the large
hall, and noticed that there were about fifty quests, of all kinds: some
were animals, some birds, and there were even a few flowers among them. -
I'm glad they've come without waiting to be asked, - she thought: - I
should never have known who were the right people to invite!
There were three chairs at the head of the table; the Red and White
Queens had already taken two of them, but the middle one was empty. Alice
sat down in it, rather uncomfortable in the silence, and longing for some
one to speak.
At last the Red Queen began. - You've missed the soup and fish, - she
said. - Put on the joint! - And the waiters set a leg of mutton before
Alice, who looked at it rather anxiously, as she had never had to carve a
joint before.
- You look a little shy; let me introduce you to that leg of mutton,
- said the Red Queen. - Alice - Mutton; Mutton - Alice. - The leg of
mutton got up in the dish and made a little bow to Alice; and Alice
returned the bow, not knowing whether to be frightened or amused.
- May I give you a slice? - she said, taking up the knife and fork,
and looking from one Queen to the other.
- Certainly not, - the Red Queen, very decidedly: - it isn't
etiquette to cut any one you've been introduced to. Remove the joint! -
And the waiters carried it off, and brought a large plum-pudding in its
place.
- I won't be introduced to the pudding, please, - Alice said rather
hastily, - or shall we get no dinner at all. May I give you some?
But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled - Pudding - Alice; Alice
- Pudding. Remove the pudding! - and the waiters took it always so quickly
that Alice couldn't return its bow.
However, she didn't see why the Red Queen should be the only one to
give orders, so, as an experiment, she called out - Waiter! Bring back the
pudding! - and there it was again in a moment like a conjuring-trick. It
was so large that she couldn't help feeling a LITTLE shy with it, as she
had been with the mutton; however, she conquered her shyness by a great
effort and cut a slice and handed it to the Red Queen.
- What impertinence! - said the Pudding. - I wonder how you'd like
it, if I were to cut a slice out of YOU, you creature!
- It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice hadn't a word
to say in reply: she could only sit and look at it and gasp.
- Make a remark, - said the Red Queen: - it's ridiculous to leave all
the conversation to the pudding!
- Do you know, I've had such a quantity of poetry repeated to me
to-day, - Alice began, a little frightened at finding that, the moment she
opened her lips, there was dead silence, and all eyes were fixed upon her;
- and it's a very curious thing, I think -every poem was about fishes in
some way. Do you know why they're so fond of fishes, all about here?
She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a little wide of the
mark. - As to fishes, - she said, very slowly and solemnly, putting her
mouth close to Alice's ear, - her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle -
all in poetry - all about fishes. Shall she repeat it?
- Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention it, - the White Queen
murmured into Alice's other ear, in a voice like the cooing of a pigeon. -
It would be SUCH a treat! May I?
- Please do, - Alice said very politely. The White Queen laughed with
delight, and stroked Alice's cheek. Then
she began:
- "First, the fish must be caught.
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught it.
"Next, the fish must be bought.
That is easy: a penny, I think, would have bought it.
"Now cook me the fish!
That is easy, and will not take more than a minute.
Let it lie in a dish!"
That is easy, because it already is in it.
"Bring it here! Let me sup!"
It is easy to set such a dish on the table.
"Take the dish-cover up!
Ah, THAT is so hard that I fear I'm unable!
For it holds it like glue
Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle:
Which is easiest to do,
Un-dish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle?
- Take a minute to think about it, and then guess, - said the Red
Queen. - Meanwhile, we'll drink your health - Queen Alice's health! she
screamed at the top of her voice, and all the guests began drinking it
directly, and very queerly they managed it: some of them put their glasses
upon their heads like extinguishers, and drank all that trickled down
their faces -others upset the decanters, and drank the wine as it ran off
the edges of the table - and three of them (who looked like kangaroos)
scrambled into the dish of roast mutton, and began eagerly lapping up the
gravy, - just like pigs in a trough! thought Alice.
- You ought to return thanks in a neat speech, - the Red Queen said,
frowning at Alice as she spoke.
- We must support you, you know, - the White Queen whispered, as
Alice got up to do it, very obediently, but a little frightened.
- Thank you very much, - she whispered in reply, - but I can do quite
well without.
- That wouldn't be at all the thing, - the Red Queen said very
decidedly: so Alice tried to submit to it with a good grace.
(And they DID push so! - she said afterwards, when she was telling
her sister the history of the feast. - You would have thought they wanted
to squeeze me flat!')
In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her place while
she made her speech: the two Queens pushed her so, one on each side, that
they nearly lifted her up into the air: - I rise to return thanks - Alice
began: and she really DID rise as she spoke, several inches; but she got
hold of the edge of the table, and managed to pull herself down again.
- Take care of yourself! - screamed the White Queen, seizing Alice's
hair with both her hands. - Something's going to happen!
And then (as Alice afterwards described it) all sorts of thing
happened in a moment. The candles all grew up to the ceiling, looking
something like a bed of rushes with fireworks at the top. As to the
bottles, they each took a pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on as
wings, and so, with forks for legs, went fluttering about in all
directions: - and very like birds they look, - Alice thought to herself,
as well as she could in the dreadful confusion that was beginning.
At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her side, and turn to see
what was the matter with the White Queen; but, instead of the Queen, there
was the leg of mutton sitting in the chair. - Here I am! cried a voice
from the soup tureen, and Alice turned again, just in time to see the
Queen's broad good-natured face grinning at the for a moment over the edge
of the tureen, before she disappeared into the soup.
There was not a moment to be lost. Already several of the guests were
lying down in the dishes, and the soup ladle was walking up the table
towards Alice's chair, and beckoning to her impatiently to get out of its
way.
- I can't stand this any longer! - she cried as she jumped up and
seized the table-cloth with both hands: one good pull, and plates, dishes,
guests, and candles came crashing down together in a heap on the floor.
- And as for YOU, - she went on, turning fiercly upon the Red Queen,
who she considered as the cause of all the mischief - but the Queen was no
longer at her side - she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a
little doll, and was now on the table, merrily running round and round
after her own shawl, which was trailing behind her.
At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised at this, but she
was far too much excited to be surprised at anything NOW. - As for YOU, -
she repeated, catching hold of the little creature in the very act of
jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon the table, - I'll shake
you into a kitten, that I will!
CHAPTER X
Shaking
She took her off the table as she spoke, and shook her backwards and
forwards with all her might.
The Red Queen made no resistance whatever; only her face grew very
small, and her eyes got large and green: and still, as Alice went on
shaking her, she kept on growing shorter - and fatter - and softer - and
rounder - and
CHAPTER XI
Waking
- and it really WAS a kitten, after all.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16